At some point in life, you might have questioned whether your standards are too high—whether in relationships, friendships, or your career. You begin second-guessing yourself, wondering if your expectations are unrealistic and fearing that you’ll never find someone or something that truly meets them.

But as we grow older, we often realise the opposite. I certainly have. Your standards should be high. You deserve relationships, friendships, and a career that align with your values and aspirations. In other words, settling should never be an option.

Where did this realisation come from? I’ve seen so many people stuck in relationships that no longer serve them—staying out of familiarity, fear, or simply because they’ve been together since school. Then there are those trapped in jobs they’ve long outgrown, whether it’s the same company for decades or the mid-20s burnout from the “London finance bro” lifestyle.

The truth is, fear of change is natural. But the best things happen when we embrace that fear. Leaving a long-term relationship is difficult, but staying in one that stifles your growth is even harder. The same goes for your career—remaining in a job that drains you is a disservice to your future self.

Now, take a moment to reflect: What are your expectations? Write them down. For relationships, friendships, and work. Be specific. And don’t hold back—your standards probably aren’t as extreme as you think. Too often, we settle for the bare minimum, convinced that asking for more is unreasonable. But let me tell you this: You are never, ever asking for too much.

If you find yourself in a cycle of giving without receiving or constantly asking for more but seeing no change, step back and assess the situation. Is that friend, partner, or employer truly incapable of giving more, or have they just grown too comfortable? The responsibility isn’t on you to fix it—it’s on them to step up.

And remember this: what you’re asking for is, more often than not, the bare minimum. If a person or a job can’t meet even that, the issue isn’t you—it’s them.

Your standards should be high because, eventually, you will find someone—or something—that meets them. “But what if I don’t?” Trust me, you will. Maybe not today, maybe not this year, but it will happen.

So set the bar high. If someone wants to be in your life, they should rise to meet it. Settling only leads to regret. Make choices today that your future self will thank you for.