Playing For a Men’s Hockey Team As The Only Girl

A blog post by Elena, the Founder of Pepetoe.

If you’ve found my blog from TikTok, you will already know that a lot of what I post about online is the fact that I play for a men’s hockey team. If you didn’t know that, you may have a ton of questions…

As I mentioned in my last post, I had a break from hockey for a few years after finishing uni and diving straight into work. So, fair to say my schedule was pretty busy trying to get my foot in the door in the world of digital marketing, whilst also trying to grow my own social media business and Pepetoe.

Last summer, I was asked to come along and join a few training sessions with my local club, which only had a men’s team. At the time, I wasn’t aware of the law change for the 2025/26 season in men’s hockey, changing to an “open league”.

In England, this change is part of a wider move by England Hockey to make the sport more inclusive, particularly for trans and non-binary players. So, while the structure of these leagues still reflects traditional men’s hockey in terms of level and competition, they’re no longer exclusively limited to men.

The term “open” essentially means that participation isn’t strictly defined by gender in the same way it used to be. Which is how I ended up playing in a men’s team, in a nutshell.

I’ll be honest, I didn’t think much about the rules at first. I just turned up to training. But stepping into that environment as a girl has been… an experience. One I definitely want to talk more about.

My First Game

Looking back to September, I didn’t really think much of it at first. I’d been questioned by family and friends as to why on earth I’d step back out onto the hockey pitch after a few years away from the sport, and that with a men’s team too. My talent and experience had dwindled a bit during that time away, but honestly, just the feeling of being back on that pitch again was enough in itself.

I think because I hadn’t played in so long, I didn’t think twice about the fact I was playing on a men’s team. I completely overlooked how challenging it would be. That men’s hockey is an entirely different sport to women’s hockey. And that I’d be up against some really good players. Just the joy of being back on the turf again overided all those anxieties, and I don’t think I can put into words that feeling of running with the ball on your stick, down the wing, wind in your hair, smile on your face. I didn’t realise how much I missed it. And that excitement was fully back, ignoring how difficult this season was going to be.

Actually, that first game, I didn’t have any comments about being the only girl there. It was a little underwhelming! I was expecting a lot of sniggers and jokes but nothing really happened in that first match. I just played, and was happy that I could just do that without any prejudice.

The only thing that made me doubt that, was the fact my captain would put on the first few team sheets on the WhatsApp chat “Eli”, instead of “Ellie” or “Elena”. I don’t know if it was because he genuinely didn’t know how to spell my name, or that is was because he hadn’t informed the team that a girl would be joining for this season. Looking back, I do think it was the latter, but I’d have to confirm that before I start anything here!

So, yeah, maybe there was a little bit of prejudice there, but not 100% confirming that. And the team really didn’t care!

I don’t think we won that match, but it was still good to be there.

Being The Only Girl

To be honest, I think where the prejudice came from, was internally. Being the only girl on a men’s team made me put a lot of pressure on myself to be better. Not to be better than anyone else, but to grow and improve with the team. This was hard, given the fact we had no training sessions, unless you count the “vets” mid-week matches I was playing in most of the time.

And as I said, the team really did take me in, and of course there were a few jokes here and there, but never any judgement or snide comments from any of them. The main ones were “why are you playing with us?” and I never really had an answer to that. It was more that this was the opportunity given to me, and I know I could’ve rejoined my old club (the club I played at before uni), or gone somewhere new entirely. I think it was that I wanted a challenge (like starting hockey up again wasn’t a challenge enough!) and thought “this could be fun”.

I am so grateful for my team, and all the fun we’ve had this season, as it’s genuinely been a year I won’t forget.

There were comments though, from other teams. I’d have people shout at the start of the match or during warm-up “why do you have a girl on your team?”, or umpires speaking with the captain to ensure I was a “legal” player (i.e., signed up with the England Hockey system – if I wasn’t, there’d be a hefty fine and points deducted!). I took this all well though, and decided if people were going to make fun of this, then I’d be just as cruel back! Well, maybe not “cruel”, but sarcasm and banter did play a big role in this season…

A few times I was put in a position where I didn’t really know what to do. I knew men’s hockey was a bit more rough than women’s, and the argy-bargy down the sideline was generally ignored by most umps. However, there were a couple moments where I almost wanted to play the sexism/feminism card, but that’s something I never did, because at the end of the day I signed up to this willingly myself, and had to take what was to come!

So, that argy-bargy a few times became something a bit more. I’ve had people literally KICK me and shout “why are you here?”. I’ve had people push me over, maybe expecting me to play that “feminism card”. Which I never did. I took it all well, and pushed them back. Verbally and sometimes physically! But in hockey, even though it’s not a contact sport, you do have to hold your own… especially if you’re a foot shorter than most of your team and the oppo!

Taking The Heat Online

Then, the other thing worth discussing here, is the comments I’ve had online about this. Nothing too drastic, nothing too mean, but still these same comments of “go back to a women’s team” and “you have no place playing a men’s team”. Most comments on my videos, though, were more curiosity than anything, genuinely wanting to know why I play for Pershore Men’s.

I’ve taken those comments well, using it for fire my virality and passion to “beat” these men in a match. And there’s been countless times where I did skill past them and win the ball time and time again!

I’ve had my mum and friends ask me if I’m ok with some of the comments I’ve received over the last 6 months online, and I honestly don’t care! They don’t get to me, because I know that I can just post a video about it, and get more views! If that’s cheating the system, or blagging my way to the top, so be it! I’ve been raised to use those snide or hateful comments (in real life as well as online) as fuel to the fire, and that’s exactly I’ve done.

There has been some moments in my life where I’ve been under scrutiny online, even before I went viral on TikTok. And, if you’ve also been in that situation, you’ll know it’s not nice. And one moment really did shape the few years after that with hateful comments on my body and how I looked… developing into an eating disorder. So, I guess with these half-arsed attempts on TikTok now at trying to tear me down, they really don’t bother me, as I’ve had a lot worse. If you were to comment on my body, though, maybe we’d have a different story here.

Going back to hockey, I’ve taken the fact I play for a men’s team and, yes, I have used it as my “brand” online and I don’t think that’s a bad thing. I’ve even spoken to some people who also play for a men’s team as the only girl, or who are now inspired to do the same so that they can play with their dad, boyfriend, brother etc. I think I have inspired a few people, and that’s all I aim to do.

Proving Myself on the Team

As much as I’d like to believe that there wasn’t any sexism or prejudice on the team, I do think there’s been a few times where this has come into light.

There has been a few matches this season where I wasn’t played. Sat on the sidelines in the freezing cold, sometimes as the only sub, and not getting a single minute on the pitch. My captain would tell me it’s because “the game is too close and we need these points”. And I get that maybe I’m not the strongest player on the pitch. Why? One, because I hadn’t played in a while, so, yeah, I wasn’t as good as the others. But, two, and I think this is to some extent a more solid part of it, was because I’m a girl? I don’t know for sure, but I did feel this a lot during the season, and it would pain me when those words would come out of my captain’s mouth, even if others in the team were spurring me on to get my shinpads on and get some time on the turf. I’ve even had some of the players come off to sub with me to get me some time on.

I’m not saying this is for sure, but I felt like I had to prove myself, time and time again, and still not be played. Especially if I had a great game in the mid-week match, and still not getting time on a Saturday game… It felt a bit prejudiced to me. Because I’m not a shit player. And I also take no shit. I’m a confident player, and playing on a men’s team really has helped with that.

The Physical & Tactical Differences

If you’re not too clued up about hockey, you might not get that there are differences in men’s versus women’s hockey.

Firstly, the speed of the game is very different. Sometimes games can feel a lot like tennis, going back and forth to each other’s 15s. There’s also a lot more aerials in men’s hockey, which, for those that don’t know, is when you lob the ball into the air to get to the other side of the pitch quicker. And tapping those balls down is still something I need to work on! So, it is a much faster-paced game, with usually high-scoring games – 1-0 in the first half can go to 4-5 in the second.

I also feel like “brute force” is used a lot more in men’s hockey. Block tackles and getting your body more in the way between the ball at the oppo is something done quite a lot. So, that argy-bargy I was on about earlier is generally a tactic used by a lot, especially if you’re a bigger bloke. And those 1-2s down the middle of the pitch is something of pure beauty from your two CMs, and something that you don’t see a lot in women’s hockey.

And, of course, the physicality aspect too. So, being a girl on the team is quite difficult if you’ve got someone twice your size running at you!

I also feel though, on a positive note, that I have learnt a lot from this season. In particular, my confidence on the pitch. Growing up through hockey, I was a very confident player, controlling the play as CM for both my school and club teams. Adapting that into men’s hockey was difficult, where evidently putting a 5’2 tiny young woman as the CM wasn’t the best option, so the left wing was my preferred position this season (and actually where I first started out in my hockey journey, so a bit full circle!). I’ve learned so much about how to hold my own, how not to get annoyed at your team mates, and how to stay cool when a giant is coming at you with a stick in hand!

Generally I’ve Had Fun

This season has been a whole lot of fun. I’ve been taught so much from my team, and had so many laughs. The fact that I’ve been able to do this, and share this all online and create a kind of brand around that has been amazing. No, I’m not the best hockey player in the world, and yes, I still cannot do a reverse hit(!), but I’ve had fun with it, and that’s all I wanted.

After each game, I’ve had a pint with the team, chatting about life, work, even my dating life which came to a few of their attention after bringing a boy or two to a game, which I don’t regret because it’s just made the banter even more fun! The hockey night out over Christmas, the laughs, the joyous moments there… even ending up in a club with a group of us (and yes I was asked if I was ok by a few girls that night as it was just me and middle aged men!). But I am so grateful for that social life that was given back to me along side hockey, having something to do on a weekend, and stepping into a whole new confident chapter of my life.

So, going into next season will be different. I’m making a decision on whether to carry on with the men’s team, or move to a ladies team where my sister is currently playing as GK. I know at the other club, there’s more training, more socials, and more opportunity to play. But I have loved playing at Pershore, and the friends and memories I’ve made there, so I think the best way is to help them out when they need players, but focus on my hockey improving, and obviously getting more game time as I would at a ladies club.

All in all, it’s been my favourite hockey season yet. And I can’t wait for what’s to come both in hockey, and with my Crow Hockey sponsorship (use code EO20 to get 20% off!), and on my socials.

So thank you for being a part of this wild journey over the last 6 months!